in 4 days time, i'll be on the plane to london. finally i'll be flying away. finally able to get that escape i've been craving for so many years. its not about the freedom, its just that i will not be tied down by the memories that i was unable to let go off. its such a relief actually.

but it was only just now that i fully comprehended what it will be like to leave. familarity is one thing. but the worse will be the goodbyes. i suck at goodbyes. mainly cos i'm so afraid that that one word, will be the last thing i ever get to say to you.

i finally get to tie up all the loose ends. after 2 years, i can really say i hold no hatred, anger, love or emotion towards you anymore. i can just look at you without all the angst now. and after 1 half years, i feel like i finally came to terms with how it all started and ended. despite the short time, it was one of the biggest impacts on my life. it changed so much. it changed me too. a taste of hope, and i'll never settle for anything less now.

it is with a heavy yet hopeful heart, that i say my goodbyes.